AAA is laughing at me

I ran out of gas on Easter and had to call AAA. I felt like such an idiot! My gas light didn't come on. I knew I was low but I depend on you gas light! I let myself day dream too much and get distracted easily so I really wasn't paying that much attention until it was too late.

I had Easter brunch with my mother, her boyfriend and some of his family. It was nice except for the clown that we're pretty sure is a serial killer. He was creepy and I'm not normally someone who finds clowns creepy.

I ended up getting delayed on the way home due to the gas situation and the parking lot known as the Mass Pike so I missed the finale of Rock of Love Bus. I actually don't like either of the final two and I still can't believe I watch this garbage. I need help.

I also must mention that while talking with my friend Cullen on aim I found out that his middle name is Edward. I will never let him live this down EVER!

I have a crown of pipe cleaners

Wow I am so sleepy today. I think my body is still recovering from the lack of sleep this past weekend. I definitely feel like I am too old to be staying up until 5 a.m. I even missed Rock of Love last night because I was too tired. Please don’t hold it against me for watching that crap. I know it’s horrible but it’s a guilty pleasure.

I saw I Love You Man on Saturday and it was just as good as I expected. Jason Segel is really growing on me. I like him on How I Met Your Mother but I loved him in I Love You Man and Forgetting Sarah Marshall. I hope he continues to do movies. And who doesn’t love Paul Rudd? I would like more Paul Rudd movies please. I feel like they’re friends in real life. I have no idea if they really are but I hope so. I can’t stop saying “slappin the bass man”. I amuse myself so easily.

What else did I do this weekend? We ran into Edward Cullen. I didn’t even realize it was him. I was dancing and then I turned around and he was standing there right on the edge of the dance floor. I think I said something like “hey, don’t feel like dancing?” He laughed and said something that I can’t remember because my brain was too busy freaking out because I just realized that it was Edward Cullen dude. Melissa comes out of nowhere because she realized it was him. I sort of move away and let her talk to him. I know how much she likes him so I’m a good friend and hang back. I think at one point she asked me to smell him because he smells good. I told him that I’m sure he smells good but I’m not going to smell him. I was a little more sober than she was. I don’t think he was interested in any of the ladies. There were a bunch of girls hitting on him and he had no interest. Maybe he is gay Edward Cullen? I spent the rest of the night trying to cheer up my friend. Rejection happens and it sucks, I know.

On Saturday night I saved a guy from two cougars. If I’m pushing fifty and dressing like I’m twenty I would hope my friends would have a little intervention. The two ladies kept asking him to take pictures of them. They were posing myspace style and I was trying very hard not to laugh. Hey, at least they’re having fun but this guy just wanted to eat his dinner and drink his beer. The guy made eye contact with me and I could tell that he wanted help so I went over and asked if he wanted to sit with us. He said “Thank you! Yes! I couldn’t tell if you could see me. I was going to start mouthing help.” He was a nice guy and fun to talk to and the cougars found another guy so they were happy.

I went to visit Ashley for her birthday on Sunday. We pretty much ate every fried thing imaginable. Honestly, I could eat mozzarella sticks every day. Fried cheese is the best! I made her a birthday crown out of pipe cleaners. I forgot all about pipe cleaners until I saw them in Target.

We played some wii fit and the wii asked me if I often trip over my own two feet when I walk. Wow, thanks wii fit.

I got home, passed out, and now it’s Monday. That was quite the post! It was quite the weekend though.

A tale of gay Edward Cullen and my ex

Last week Melissa and I went to this bar in a hotel called Mini Bar. We decided to class it up a little and try something new. While we're sipping our over priced wine we notice a guy walks in, not just any guy but a Robert Pattinson look alike (just a little gayer).

We can't control ourselves. We're giggle like twelve year old girls and keep looking over. I completely lose it when Melissa whispers "gay Edward Cullen is staring at you". Neither of us says anything to him. We finish our drinks and continue to laugh about it.

Flash forward to Saturday (about a week later), I get a text at 1 a.m. from Melissa telling me to come to the Tavern. I tell her I'm in bed already and the bar would be closed by the time I got there.

I check my phone in the morning and I have this text:

"Edward Cullen is at my house, he was at the Tavern! We went to GT and "DD" was checking id's at the door."

First of all, this bar is nowhere near the other bar we were at. It is completely random that she ran into him and then for her to run into my ex on the same night. Strange!

DD is a guy who I dated back in the summer and dumped me for no real good reason. I could have been walking into GT with gay Edward Cullen (who it seems is not gay) being like "yea you dumped me? We found an Edward Cullen jerk face!"

Melissa said DD said something awkward to them because he felt like a complete ass and very well should, for the way he dumped me (text message break up, OH YEA!)

And Edward Cullen is from Australia! I'm a sucker for accents (except Boston accents, sorry home boys). I'm hoping he'll be at the Tavern again, perhaps with Jasper making Edward Sissorhands faces?